Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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