Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
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