Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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