im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
