I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
