I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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