okay pat passed out under dana's car
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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