the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
