"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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