He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
