Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
