You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
