Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
