is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
