We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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