Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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