I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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