Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
