mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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