Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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