he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize