I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
