last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
