Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
