This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
