Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
