the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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