never play flip cup with pint glasses
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
