508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
