Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
