also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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