i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
