so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
