Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
