I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
