There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
