How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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