Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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