To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
