You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
