hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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