i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize