I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize