Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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