oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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