I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
