I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
