Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
