I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
