so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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