i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Your penis caused this!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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