don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
