I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
