Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
