Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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