how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
