Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
