I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
